Category: Hopeless Cases

  • On the morning after my 44th birthday, early draft

    On the morning after my 44th birthday, early draft

    On the morning after my 44th birthday (which, as of the first draft, was earlier today), I woke up a bit late, exhausted and sick from an infection. I was sick yesterday, too, but I felt better with some antibiotics and feel even better now. I typically plan for my own birthday, and I didn’t…

  • Blood of Christ, Body of Tuna

    Blood of Christ, Body of Tuna

    Once upon a time, a man named Jesus did a bunch of wholesome stuff. He never sinned, which is impressive considering he wasn’t allowed to eat pork because he was Jewish. He lived to be thirty-three years old and never ate bacon, not once, and imitation bacon bits hadn’t been invented yet. That’s called sacrifice, and you…